[Part 1 of this post is here]
[Part 2 of this post is here]
Last week I was telling a friend about an idea to start a YouTube channel with the theme “Things NOT to do when you’re home alone”.
The idea came while riding rollers in my apartment. Rollers are a scary, mind-numbing contraption that cyclists ride indoors when the weather is nasty or I’m too lazy to go outside. Imagine three rolling pins at perpendicular angles to your bike tires. It’s only your constant pedaling that keeps you upright, keeps you from crashing into a pile on the floor. As long as you keep pedaling you won’t fall off. At first it’s terrifying. You don’t trust basic physics, you’re confident you will fall and die alone, plus it feels like you’re going nowhere (ok, literally, you ARE going nowhere) and yet there is progress. Your heart is getting stronger. Your pedal stroke is getting more efficient. Your fitness level is improving. All you have to do is keep pedaling.
My friend thought this was all quite ridiculous. It is. And yet it highlights three ways to practice being brave.
1. Indulge your fear
Get on the rollers and start pedaling. If your fears are your biggest roadblock then spend ten minutes and write them all down. If the worst thing that could happen happened, how bad would it be? If you fell into a pile on the floor, how badly would you get hurt? (I’ve done this. I’m still alive.)
Write the fears down so they’re tangible. Then address them. How realistic are they? Can you do anything today to cross one off the list?
Remember, you get to choose. Will you let the fears be in charge or will you choose to risk failing in order to find hope?
2. Practice
We don’t just become the kind of people we wish we were. We have to practice. I am terrible at remembering names. I wish I was better, but wishing is not going to make me better. I need some tools and I have to practice using them. If you meet me at a party I’ll use your name in a sentence a couple of times. I’m practicing.
To be brave we have to do the work. We have to act, even if we’re terrified. We have to practice being uncomfortable.
Get started. Today, spend 5 minutes practicing your brave move. Then tomorrow spend five minutes again. Repeat.
3. Share your story
Rudyard Kipling said “I am by nature a dealer in words, and words are the most powerful drug known to humanity.” Use this drug to fuel your next move. Sharing our stories about the brave stuff we want to do and maybe even the times we’ve tried and failed has the power to change us. I learn more about myself in the stories you tell. I see myself reflected back and know I’m not alone. That’s the value of storytelling.
If courage is truly a value we hold, then we have to be open to how we protect ourselves. One of the ways we do this is by not risking emotional exposure. We avoid telling our friends or family that we have big dreams. We avoid admitting our fears and failures. But when we do this, when we don’t tell our stories, we miss the opportunity to be reminded that we’re not alone.
My story so far has been full of some successes and many failures. Lately, though, I’ve begun to jettison the concept of success entirely.
Oscar Wilde just might have been right when he said “Everything popular is wrong.”
Believe that what you have and who you are is enough.
Now go do something brave.