In Habits Part 1, we covered giving up habits that aren’t a priority and showing up to do the stuff that matters. How we do anything is how we do everything, so let’s explore two more ways to regroup from setbacks and cultivate habits that stick, even when things get messy.
3. Adopt the progress principle.
The progress principle basically says that everyday progress – even in small amounts – makes all the difference in how we feel and how we work toward goals. It’s progress we enjoy. It’s progress that drives us. We think it’s the prize at the end, but it’s not.
I like to run, and I have fumbled my way through some marathons. When people ask me what I like about it, my response is always the same. I like the training. The day of the event is not really my thing. I don’t like large crowds. I don’t like all the pomp and circumstance. But I like the reward after getting up early and fitting in two miles on a day I don’t feel so well. It feels good to run 17 miles in the pouring down rain. Small wins are rewarding. That’s the progress principle in action. The prize at the end is icing on the cake – if it ever comes – but it can’t be the sole motivation.
Crafting a habit with small wins cultivates an atmosphere of growth and keeps us energized instead of frustrated when something gets in the way. Because stuff will get in the way. This is where showing up makes all the difference. Showing up is progress.
4. Let go of perfection.
Seriously, can we please stop chasing perfection? It’s exhausting and it’s robbing us of life.
Perfect is not only the enemy of the good, it’s the enemy of fun and adventure and excitement and joy. It’s the enemy of opportunity – opportunity to learn from our failures and live our fullest lives. It robs us of all the things we learn when we try and then have to try again.
Plus, our striving for perfection comes from believing a story that says I’m not enough until I lose those few pounds or finish remodeling that bathroom or get that raise. It tells us we are never enough. So let’s quit it. Let’s be honest about our pursuit of perfection and change course.
Writing is a habit I value, but I always feel like something is missing, like what I have to say might come out wrong or be immature or dumb or self-serving. Most days I consider skipping it because I can’t be perfect. In the sports world, this is the “go hard or go home” concept. I’d rather go home, but then I’d miss the fun of trying and all the small wins. I’d miss the progress. And eventually, I might miss the joy of accomplishing something that gives me life.
If you want to use your limited lifetime to show up fully with what you’ve got, start by letting go of perfect.
More progress, more practice, less perfection.
Finally, when it comes to habit change and intentional living, be gentle. We’re all stumbling through, figuring it out as we go. We’re not nailing it on the first try. Growth comes from the margins – from small wins – and it’s the small wins that can change lives.
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